Personal

Happiness

Lately I have been thinking about happiness and what it really is more than usual, and I think I have acquired a new perspective on it. Here’s what I found.

We’ve all probably heard the phrase: “Fake it ’till you make it”. Now, I admit I’m not the biggest fan of it. I don’t think you can create happiness by just pretending to be happy all the time. Not unless something changes within.

For the last I-don’t-know-how-many years I have been quite a melancholy person. Surely, with some exceptions and periods of happiness, like the year I lived in Italy, or some short periods of time when my external circumstances were too good for me not to enjoy life. However, when my circumstances are similar to what they are now when I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place (or between popcorn and candy floss, but I just don’t see it yet lol), I tend to be super moody. And I allow myself to be that way for the sake of honesty. This effectively means that when I’m feeling good and comfortable I can be the life of the party, and when I’m having a bad day I will barely say a word, and wind myself up for having to do this or that, and will let myself float around like a cloud of pure gloom. I would always tell myself, even if unconsciously, that I will be happy and I will have energy when my circumstances change. However, they do not change nearly as fast as I would like them to, and I started suspecting that maybe they won’t ever change unless I change my attitude. 

I kind of got tired of being this moody, whiny person. There was one day at work when my co-worker was feeling very poorly and I wasn’t in the best mood either initially. However, towards the end of my shift there was a party at the Hotel and they started playing some really awesome music – you know, Old School rock and 70s music. Now, when I hear the music I like I start coming out of my little gloomy shell which effectively means I start dancing and singing and looking happy, almost against my will. My co-worker then told me that seeing me so cheerful and lively made her feel so much better and she suddenly didn’t feel so bad anymore. She even thanked me for it.

I have often been told that when I’m happy and relaxed, I look like a completely different person, in a good way of course. I start radiating this beautiful energy which in turn draws people to me. However, as for the best part of my life I’m tense and gloomy, people tend to see this version of myself as the real one.

So I started forcing myself to be cheerful and bubbly, and crack jokes, even when I’m not feeling so great. And it did in turn make me feel so much better. I also noticed how people react to me differently when I am this way, and I really like it. I realised that for the most part I’m quite a difficult presence to be around, and there are not many people who can put up with my whinning and moodiness. I often can’t put up with it myself.

I’m aware how controversial I’m sounding right now, and perhaps this isn’t for everyone. But after two days of this practise my insomnia went away and I was generally feeling much better and looking healthier.

So maybe the journey to happiness starts with allowing yourself to be joyful when nothing really amazing is happening to you, even when you’re anxious or stressed (which I always am)? Maybe it’s about telling yourself that you can and will be happy because you’re sick of being otherwise?

Let me know your thoughts!

Eve x

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15 thoughts on “Happiness

      1. Look up the hedonic set point (also called happiness set point) – some interesting theories about the why’s in increasing personal happiness in the brain…faking it till you make it……altruism also helps πŸ™‚

        Good luck with the testing! I look forward to the research πŸ€“

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Altruism helps is a fact. Being kind to others is essential for happiness πŸ™‚

        I’ll be researching by practise haha. Will update on the results once I gave it a good run πŸ˜€ Thanks for reading!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. It doesn’t sound weird at all. It’s kind of like when you do power poses before an interview you feel more confident even though you’re basically shitting yourself. It takes a lot of effort and discipline to do it the way you do – so just a big fat kudos.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am very similar. I feel sorry for my husband because he met me during my “happy” college years. Then we got married right after college, and a year or so later I was back to the usual me. I think the word “allowing” in your last paragraph is very important.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I think it’s a lot about ‘allowing’ because I almost feel like I grew up with this mindset that I am not allowed to be happy unless I have all the boxes ticked in the ‘what you need to have/do in order to be happy’ list. And I’m not sure I’d get the feeling even if they all were ticked.

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  3. Really needed this post today, thank you ❣️ I spent a lot of my teenage years being sad and not joining in with anything! Now I’m trying but I can only throw myself half way because I just don’t know how to deal with the rest… one day I will reach a chasm and fall through if I’m not careful πŸ˜› but my best advice would be to try everything, even if you don’t feel like it at the time. I find it usually creates a good memory anyway! Sorry for the rant, loved your post ^_^ xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much! So lovely to hear that you could relate πŸ™‚ ranty comments are the best! Thanks for sharing, I was exactly the same as a teenager and I’m still struggling to have the courage to go for all sorts of scary things I would like to do! But totally agree with what you said about creating memories X

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Surely but as I’m applying it mostly to myself, and I have allowed myself to be down for a good number of years, I feel like there’s not much learning for me left in “being down” πŸ˜€ thank you for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

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