Personal

embracing otherness

Lately I’ve been looking at other people more and more, and I was fascinated by what I found. People are so different. Like, completely different. I used to perceive these differences as something wrong or something threatening. However, lately I notice beauty in people, looking at their different features, expressions, voices, the way they speak and the way they move.

I am learning to love others. Not just one or two friends or family members. Lately I’ve been able to feel little hints of love towards people I thought I could never love. I started admiring people who used to seem noisy and obtrusive to me. I must say it’s been a terrifying experience in a way, but also a huge relief in another.

When I was growing up, even way into my teens and early twenties I didn’t like people. I liked only those who loved me and would show attention to me. As for the rest, I either perceived them as threatening (because of their otherness) or was completely uninterested in them. That created a gap, an alienation between me and them and made it hard for me to build new relationships and feel like I belong.

Otherness is scary. Otherness is difficult. But it can also teach you things that you never would have learned otherwise. When I started my new job at the Hotel, I was learning from my colleagues (especially one particular girl who at first I found hard to like but I had to admit that she was excellent at her job) how to be nice to people, make them feel welcome and, well, make some profit from the commissions. I learned so much, sometimes unwillingly, that last month I was at the top of my game and was congratulated for upselling the most stuff to customers (good stuff, that I could honestly recommend myself). Mind you, I’ve never been a sales person, I strongly dislike customer service but at the moment it’s the job that fits best around my situation, and so I make the best of it. The point of this is: I never would have learned so much from that girl if I let my initial dislike and conflicts with her prevent me from seeing all the good qualities that she had. Mind you, lately at work we’ve been pretty much two peas in a pod. However, we’re still very different people.

14454474_1233646029989957_1261300023_nLearning to love people is a hard journey but it’s so rewarding. If you love someone or at least appreciate their uniqueness, you stop feeling so threatened by them, can build relationships easier and develop great qualities that don’t come naturally to you by looking at their example. I don’t know exactly why God created us so different but I guess it’s because these differences make the world more rich and colourful and help us grow and develop as human beings.

Let me know how you feel about otherness and if you find it hard or easy to see beauty in other people and appreciate their unique personalities.

Eve x

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “embracing otherness

  1. Loving this write-up, your thoughts are wide and broad, your perspectives are really different, the otherness is prominent in you. Really love the theme that you have chosen for your blog. Hope to see more from you. Have hope, write on!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Growing up, I was taught that there was only one “right” way to be. So, I have had trouble adapting to the real world where there are an infinite amount of ways to be. I’m still trying to grow into my own person, to truly be myself, rather than what I was taught I should be. This mindset makes it difficult not to focus on all the things people are doing “wrong”. I really try not to pass that on to my son. I am so scared that he will look back and think I was the same way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your experience πŸ™‚ Don’t be afraid, from what I can see you’re already far away from being a narrow-minded person who thinks they’re “right” and everyone else who thinks differently is wrong. I would say by all means encourage individuality in your child. Growing up, especially as a teen, I was always trying to conform to the standards of my school/society but it only made me extremely unhappy because I wasn’t living the life I was meant to live, ignoring my passions, repressing those parts of me that I thought were “too much”. Only when I started to find my true self I started meeting people who truly made me happy, finding hobbies and activities that make me feel fulfilled. Best of luck growing into your own true self πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi, I like this topic. Lately, I’ve learnt to accept and manage people’s differences. It’s something I have to do as a Human Resource Professional because through my experience I’ve come to realize no two people are the same. However, I can admit I struggled with this much in my early years. I also abstained from people because I couldn’t seem to understand why they were so different. I think once you love yourself and you are true to yourself, you can learn to love others different or not.

    https://mariamshittu.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “I think once you love yourself and you are true to yourself, you can learn to love others different or not” – that is very true. I think that as you learn to love yourself you realise that you have both great qualities and great faults, and so do other people. We all struggle in our own different ways but it’s easier to forgive ourselves our faults because we know our histories and what has shaped particular personality traits whereas for other people we only see their actions but not their causes. Thanks for sharing your thoughts πŸ™‚ x

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Such a nice and thoughtful post!
    For me it’s a bit of a complicated thing. There are days, weeks, when I love everyone, I embrace their beauty, their otherness, their human imperfection. I walk down the street and I feel so proud for each soul to be living on. I can’t explain very well but it is as if I am connected to everyone.
    Theeen, there are days when I just want to be alone, when everyone feels like a problem, an annoying other. I just want distance.
    Two extremes that somewhat leaves me tired. On peaceful days I just try to see the good things, or understand why that person is different and why I may feel threatened. (Unless they are being super assholes, then I have a really hard time trying to understand) Sometimes it’s hard but I keep trying.
    And you said well: “I guess it’s because these differences make the world more rich and colourful and help us grow and develop as human beings.”
    So on point.
    Thank you for this nice reading! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences! I can completely relate to both types of days. However, I’m trying to change my mindset so that there would be more days of the first type, and fewer and fewer of the second type. It’s not as much for other people as it is for myself. I want to be able to open up to people more and feel more relaxed around them so that I can have a better time navigating this crazy little world. Thanks for your lovely thoughts πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s